No. 12.

S.I.F.
Another Place.

Dec. 13^th 1939.

My Darling,

Will you ever forgive me, I have to thank you for the three letters, Nos. 4, 5 and 6—the latter arrived tonight—and also for the helmet and mittens. You are so sweet. The helmet is beautiful and just as I wanted it to be. I adore to think that both you and Jill have worn it, I’m sure you must have looked very pixyish, and the mittens too are grand coming well over my wrists. They are very warm.

And now darling to explain my not having written to you for eleven days. I feel very ashamed of myself but I think you will begin to understand as you read this letter.

First of all something that will make you laugh (I’m going to try and take the last 11 days in chronological order). Do you remember my efforts in Sinbad the Sailor and your unbridled merriment for days afterwards? Well this time you may laugh just once and once only, no more.

You will recall my recent references to the immorality of French rats, well them were more immoral…

…than I thought. They actually had the damned impertinence to pinch my upper set of TEETH.

It had been my custom to put them in a cigarette tin at night by my pillow. Once morning I woke up and found to my dismay that only my lower denture was left.

As you know we have to get to the Gun Position at dawn so it was very dark and I came to the conclusion that they must have fallen into the straw—the teeth I mean—and I didn’t worry overmuch.

I was on cookhouse at the time (I think I told you) and so I went down there and commenced to help with brekkie. After breakfast (very lowly) I started an exhaustive search which involved shredding minutely about a cut of straw and took a long time. Eventually I was forced to the conclusion that they weren’t there and I was forced to assume the only alternative “les rats”.

Accordingly I examined their many holes without success. By now I am afraid I was very angry, but I soon got over this as, very soon, I came in for a very good share of leg-pulling.

The next day, the 3rd, I reported sick to the M.O. of the unit to which we are attached and told him my story. More uncontrollable mirth, he said that it would take months. So I replied that I was very unhappy without them and could he give me facilities for obtaining them at my own…

…expense, and what did he think they might cost?

He then intimated that he would make an emergency case of the matter and also he would try and do it through the Service, but if he was unsuccessful I must expect to dub up to the extent of 800 francs (horrid thought) and that he would let me know when he could arrange transport into A.

The same afternoon on the gun position I had a telephone call to report the next morning at 8:00, which I accordingly did. After waiting until 10 o’clock, and no lorry, the medical orderlies decided that it had forgotten to call.

I however managed to elicit the address of the hospital in A and also it would be alright if I could manage my transport. This I was very anxious to do as the next day we were returning to B.H.Q. to rest and I should have had to start all over again with the M.O. of our own unit.

Mr Chapple very kindly consented to let me go in a lorry and we arrived in A at about 1:00 and discovered that the address I had been given was a huge French barracks. The driver and I addressed the sentry in our best French, “Je désire le dentiste still vous plait” and were immediately led into a room where about twenty, not very clean, allies were being bandaged in different parts of the body, only to be told the dentist wasn’t there. He was…

…no longer at the Boulevard St— but at the Rue de X.

Now A is amongst the ten largest cities in France so the finding of different places wasn’t so easy. Eventually however we did manage it, only to discover that we were too late and the dentist had left for the day. I was however able to make an appointment for the next day and so we returned to billets, and in due course in the afternoon back to B.H.Q. for four days rest.

I reported that evening to the M.O’s orderly at B.H.Q. and the next morning I set off again for A and duly had an impression taken for a new set. I had of course to explain why I needed them. “Beaucoup de rats chez moi Monsieur, dans le nuit les voleurs couraient avec mes dents et il mangent toute suite.”

This time much Gallic laughter from the seven French dentists there present who all came to have a look at me. After leaving the dentist we had lunch in the city and returned to BHQ where I was immediately informed by the boys that my teeth had been found.

Apparently the section who had relieved us had moved all the straw in the loft and had found them at an entrance to a hole, the existence of which I was ignorant. I was very touched in spite of the fact that they…

…were a trifle nibbled.

This of course meant a further trip to A the next day to cancel the new and have the old “stérilisé” and filed. The nibbles were decorative but a little rough for comfort so I insisted on their removal forthwith.

During our three trips to A we discovered a Café kept by an Australian who served out here in the last war and stayed here marrying a French wife. It was quite like home to hear “Good morning gents” again.

The next day we left B.H.Q. and took up our new position.

We are billeted in a small village again this time. The actual billet itself being quite a modern house so we are very comfortable and there and NO rats.

The first few days in a new place are spent, generally, in shaking down and making ourselves as comfortable as possible. This of course takes quite a time and here I come to my second piece of news.

On Sunday I was doing some jobs at billets when I received a message from Chapple to report to him on the Gun Park. He wanted to know again the particulars I had given him at Hayes about Cert A, when and where I went to school, when as you will remember he so…

…kindly recommended me for promotion.

The particulars he had to send into B.H.Q that day, I asked him if he thought it meant anything. So often you know it’s just another Army form, and he said he didn’t know.

As about 8:30 the next morning I again had a message at billets to clean up and collect one day’s rations and report again, when I learnt that I had to be at B.H.Q. at 10:00.

Chapple was very decent wishing me the best of luck and I of course thanked him for all he had done to bring this about.

In due course I arrived sat B.H.Q. where there were assembled four others from my battery. At 10 o’clock we set off for Regimental HQ about 50 miles away. We travelled in one of our lorries. Very cold it was but we were warm in heart. We arrived at about 12 o’clock and learnt that the Colonel wouldn’t be able to see us until 2 so off we went to have some lunch, being now eleven strong having picked up 6 other “peut etre” subalterns from the other two batteries on arrival.

All too soon 2:00 came and one by one we went in to be interviewed by the colonel and his three Majors.

Each interview took about 20 minutes and I was about ninth on the list. As we were waiting in the road, slowly I got colder and more frightened, eventually my turn came.

Now darling one, I could go into a detailed account of this interview but it would take a long time. Actually very soon I was at my ease and I don’t think I made a mess of it.

Now Darling I am terribly happy about all this. Partly because it will make a great deal of difference to you and Jill, and partly because it will involve my coming home to be trained. Reason seems to point to the necessity, if we may expect a big push in the spring, of training as many officers between now and then as possible. Actually it may mean anything up to a year before I hear anything more. However with my usual optimism I entertain delightful roseate thoughts of being home perhaps by Christmas!! Or very early in the new year.

The army can, and does, move very slowly and with lightning speed. Oh my darling how I long to see you again just one night, together—and I think…

…I could be happy for a very long time.

I feel so unsettled not knowing when I might be told to pack my kit, however we must console ourselves darling with the thought that we shall probably beat this Mar. 31st tap which is now, alas, quite definite.

Will you tell Tris dear that for the last three weeks I have been agitating with the Postal Authorities about Vic’s mail. First of all we sent them to No. 1 Casualty Clearing Station (frightening name but I believe the only casualties they have has have been Don R’s (dispatch riders) with broken legs). Two parcels and 3 or 4 letters came back from there “not known” so after I had heard from you he was on the coast we sent them to [CENSORED]. Again they came back “not known”. Then a week ago I had a letter from Vic himself giving me his address and I immediately arranged for his mail to be sent off there since when.

Although I have enquired almost everyday when I have seen the Battery postman, it has not yet been returned, so I think we may conclude he is now in touch. Poor Vic, it must have…

…been terrible for him without any mail. I think I would go crazy darling if I were ever in the same position.

I quite concur in the attitude you are taking with regard to Audrey and Ash Lodge. You know darling you have my support always and in everything. I should mention I received a khaki pullover and a pair of gloves from Audrey the other day. There was no letter inside just a visiting card. I have acknowledged them very formally.

Darling the nighties sound delicious, Wyn is a vulgar child. She always was rather keen, however, on beauty unadorned. Whilst in the subject of undies our woolly pussies are vests, I thought in the family they always had been vests.

We did not for a moment suppose, did we my dear? That the B’s would want possession in February under the circumstances. Still it is good to have this confirmed, also the prospect of a reduction in rent.

I was rather sorry to hear about the damp patches you speak of, you remember we had exactly the same trouble before. It is no…

…use however putting on fresh paper until the wall has dried out!

With reference to “hole in the ground” of course my reference was to heaven and hell. I can’t of course now remember the actual context so I am unable to appreciate Wyn’s ideas on the subject. Anyway you may tell her from me that there isn’t a censor in the British Army with quite such a dirty mind as hers, and if I have any more of it I shall forbid your reading parts of my letter to her and shall insist on her being in by 8:30 every night–I don’t believe this late at the office stuff.

I am so glad to hear that you are getting out to the flics once a week now. It is most essential that you should get some diversion at least as often as that. It is very kind of Wyn to stay in on her early night thus making this possible.

Darling it would be very nice if you could both spend Christmas with Mother. I feel very inclined to write and ask her if she could manage it. I’m sure she would love to have you, it…

…wouldn’t be like last Christmas but at least you wouldn’t be all alone. Frankly I hate the idea of that, it is a shame that Wyn and Pam can’t manage to spend Christmas at Keston.

Well darling it is time I went to bye byes if I’m to be a cheery boy in the morning.

I will write to you again on Saturday, it’s a vow, I do hope I’m forgiven.

I love you and long for you always,

Yours,

Kenneth.